I realised I stopped blogging for 2 years..
Since using facebook, I had not blogged for sometimes. Had been sharing much of my thoughts over the social platform. One of its limitation is that every mother and father will know what you post. I shall share my thoughts over here more often and less on facebook.
That is if anyone is still reading it…
I realise, there is not a single day in my life that I don’t feel lonely..
hey 好久不见重记得你钟意听
不如不见记得以前和你分享我的担心
烦恼还有我的骄傲
但现在我们之间却变得越来越有礼貌
when we broke up
你的朋友一定拍手说好
现在你身边的他们大概都不喜欢我
但是我还是我我还一样地活
the reason why 我决定离开
there is only one reason
why coz i know you deserve better and more
没了我大家信不过的那个星座
你一定要好好生活别想太多
为什么我写了这首歌只想用心对你说
i love you and i still do i love you now
but it is just in a different way if i may
hey be sure i know you used to love me more
but now as a friend
我知道当我离开世界的那一天
你一定会流泪在我的照片前面
and i do the same
now coz i watch you man
coz you have always be like my family to me
这不是秘密
但是你身边仍没有几多人知
流过的泪说过的话仍在我心中
虽然已经失去你
以后如果在街上碰到你和你心爱的那个谁
唔好避我会微笑带礼貌地欣然面对
I wish you luck, wish you health, wish you love with this smile and hug
I wish you love, wish you health, wish you love with this smile and his hug
Once again, is another long day at work, and a long way back home to ponder about life. It was a long journy on the MRT back home, sometimes standing and sometimes able to find a seat.
And there I am thinking how I wish that could happen, how I hope that I did this thing in the past, how I never say this at that time. Whether to regret or not. To make a decision, it was hard and at what cost, only that I will knew. There is no point regreting, because at that point of time making the decision, you know you have made the best one out of all. Given what you know, where you are, at that time, its the best option that you have make. Not out of emotions, but a decision based on rationality and ethically. We will not know what is the outcome. So, there is no point regreting. We all just have to move on, try to look ahead even you knew it is a unhappy decision.
Life is a tiring journey. Sometimes, you can find rest and sometimes there are so much burdens to carry. But some day, life will just end and fade away.
Sorry for not blogging for some time.. As usual, I am working late and struggling with some things in my life..
I actually had a thanksgiving entry but is still a WIP, so will just have to delay that one. When you are struggling, you can hardly find any inspiration to write such things.
Think there are alot of questions popping up onto my mind recently. First of all, I have been in a shithole again, facing the same old scenario that I had faced 4 years ago. In actual fact, I really dunno how to handle such question even though I had did so confidently back then. I will not discuss here what is it here and I am not going to tell anyone even if I am asked. But the thing is a very hard and painful experience which I took a long time to heal, even at this moment. I had to make a decision again, and the uncertainity of the outcome is bearing on me with pain and even nightmares.
Yet I know that I had to go through this once again, even I roughly know what the outcome will be. Concidently, a couple of my friends are facing some struggles and pain on their own. There is always a time of grief and pain and also a time of happinness. No one can escape this season. How fast it heals depends on how the individual tackles it. At a time of grief, i find myself helping others, talking to them, let them feel loved.
I totally disagree over the statement that happinness is a choice. There are circumstances in life which is beyond our control. How to feel happy if you lost you loved one due to unforseeable circumstances.
I had been thinking alot this days, and I did asked God again, why this again. I won’t deny I am lost now, and even in deep grief at of this moment. At a time like this, I have been keeping myself strong, telling myself to have confidence in myself, faith in the Lord. Because I know I am capable, I am good, I can achieve many things in life, I won’t let this kind of setback brings me down again. To have faith in Him because believing that His plans are wonderful, giving me hope to look forward to tomorrow.
One of the most hurtful things is not being able to love someone, even you know you have so much things waiting to do, waiting to make her happy.
Having the hope to live, and having the confidence that I am capable. I can’t control the pain, but slowly day by day, it will goes away.
Just read an article, http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20100217/study-happiness-good-heart
A few ways to keep you happy:
“Finally, regular exercise and sexual activity and good sleep are all associated with increased self-reported happiness,” he writes.
Feeeling an all time low again..
Why am I always playing the secondary role again. Even so how hard I pray, yet why history always tend to repeat itself. Why can’t it just leave me alone..
Why can’t God…
And even so, how heavy I am, I still have to carry that smile..
Oh Lord, I am tired.. why you have to let me go through everything once again… 
After a hiatus of almost 1.5 mths, think i should rejuvenate this blog. Just an update, I had been too busy with audit and facebook. Really can feel peak is already here because I had been working till midnight almost everyday. Cant imagine what it will be like for the next few months.
Well, here it is. After the road trip, I actually spend a week alone in Perth. I am really sick of work at that point of time, so i decided to spend one week alone in perth to mediate, to get back those times when i was studying back in perth. But before that, i actually went to the Perth Royal Show with my family. Just for your information, is an annual family carnival in Perth which lasts for a week. There are competitions going on where u see farmers bring in birds, dogs, wine, food and anything u can imagine to see who are the best in town. The highlight of this show is showbags which come with all sorts of things like chocolates, collectables, and toys for the kids. I bought myself a Menhealth show bag which give me 4 months of magazines, some shaving cream, shampoo, and a nice gym bag for the price of AUD29. Not so bad huh..
One of the things I really like to do is to laze myself along the swan river at matilda bay just behind my uni. During Winter and Spring, this place is really refreshing as the weather is not hot. I can just spend like an hour or so to think reflect upon life and commute to God at a quiet place like this. It is not possible to find such a place in Singapore unless you go Paula Ubin. How nice if i can do my bible study here everyday. Come to think of it, i spent alot of time here emo-ing during my last semester.
Is funny that during the week, me and Aidan coincidently were back in Perth for holiday. Aidan was my uni housemate for 3 years and heck, those 3 years are wasted because of him and another friend thanks to DOTA. This time, he took his gf here for pre-wedding photos. To be honest, I tagged along with him to learn some photography skills. Amazingly, if you wanna take some photos, i highly recommends Perth..
For your information, I took all these pics by myself, with a little inspiration from the photograher. To be honest, I do really envy Aidan. Not because of a his pretty girlfriend, but of his relationship. Is something I want to have, but I know is also kind of like impossible to have. Oh well..
One of the beaches in Perth. Specially come here to collect “sand”
I think this will be the only time when i will ever do such things again by staying in Perth alone. Seriosuly, it can be quite lonely to travel alone. I felt like shit for the first 2 days in Perth. But luckily, Aidan was around so I can at least eat dinner with him. I spent some time having dinner with some of my friends still stranded back in Perth. Maybe staying back there is not a bad idea because the cost of living in SG is now comparable to the prices in Perth.
I got some time before i left, so took so beautiful pictures in King’s Park, Spring is good after all..
And for the week, i got a pretty nice car to bring me around, spend AUD 180 for the rental,
To conclude my trip, I spend my mid autumn festival in the air,
The moon still looks the same to me…
Just a few weeks ago, i came across a meaningful article in the newspaper.
There is this guy who migrated to Canada and writes an article about his parents. Just a small background, after his departure to canada, his mum suffered from “lao ren chi dai zheng” and can’t remember things around her. When he asked his mun why she is happy over the phone, she would reply because her son and family is around her. This make him cried because he is not with her at this time when she needs her the most. At the end of the article, he mentions that we have to do what we can do now to treasure our parents who are with us. Despite our ever busy lives, sometimes even a little chat each day will make them happy. That is because once they are gone, no matter how much we do, we are not able to love them anymore.
It is something that we know are much lacking of. We often took our parents for granted. We never listen to them even though each word they meant for us are filled with concern and love. When we do have time, we often spend it with friends and neglecting the fact that our parents need our love too. For myself, my father always wanted me to go hiking with him and I hate the idea because I knew it may be boring and i admit it will be boring. But then, just like work, i must try my best to find some time to spend with my parents.
It is because, how many more years left I can bring my parents to hike?
Is now 3am and I decided to finish this now.. I was wondering why i even bother to post this even there is virtually nobody reading this blog (average 2 people visits a day).
You know when we planned our annual family trip, we didn intend to go WA which I had already gotoo many many times. Initially, we wanted to go to Melbourne but in the end we end up in Perth because of the outbreak of H1N1. Well, crap aside, I shall begins on my trip.
Perth is still as boring as ever, the only interesting thing I can find is KPMG Perth which lies somewhere in the buildings below..
On the first day, we got a pretty crap apartment which is even quite expensive. Well, just remember one thing you need to know if you ever go to perth. Every accomodation near the city area is expensive and old.
And despite how tired you are, never seat on a chair without looking..
Well, you know Perth is really a boring place, so we might just go straight to the road trip. The plan is, we travelled down south and make our way slowly north back to Perth.
We reached Albany after 6 hrs of taxing drive. Is disappointing because there was a storm along the south western coast on the 1st day of the road trip. We were greeted by very strong wind and of course, not to mention how cold it was (10 degrees). Alas, we has to cut our day short because of the rain and the freezing temperature on the 1st day of the trip.
Well, when you see this in discovery channel, you may say, “argh.. not again”. But then when you really get close to see one like this, you may say, “Wad the, Oh my..” well, I leave the rest to you.
This was supposed to be the most anticipated place of interest of the entire trip, it was of course spoilt by freezing wind, glaring sunlight and of course the gloomy clouds.
No matter how you see it, it is still pretty scary to stay under the gigantic “fan”
Of course on the next morning, you will go quite crazy and try to visit as much places as possible. The wind is still furious but it didn stopped us from going wild.
Someone please guess where is this place.
Well, as you can see behind the eskimo, is a paranomic view of the “natural bridge” in albany. 3 of my friends once lie on top of the bridge and survived. Of course the view is partially blocked by the eskimo, who is my mum, and was so cold from the chilling wind. For privacy sake, you can copy all the pictures you want except this. And don’t ever tell my mum that i posted this online.
In Australia, you can find all these small pathetic towns with population ranges from 50 to 1000. As you can see, we were currently at Denmark. You may really wonder why there are people living in such places. Some of them are immigrants and I can find hongkees, and etc from these places. Take from Albany, there was actually one HongKee staying there for a whooping 14 years, opening a chinese restaurant there. The funniest thing is that whenever he goes to Perth after the horrible 5 hrs drive, he will buy 100 buns just to prepare for another season of hiberation in a place no one knows of.
Well, is the real tree top walk! At the max. height of 50 metres, you can see the whole view is blocked by these giant trees that was born maybe a century ago.
Not to mention, after that crazy day, which included a visit to the animal farm, we were haunted by a horrifying drive to a place called Pemberton. We underestimated our time to travel there which nearly took us 4 hours. We were lost thanks to our crazy GPS which kept telling us to “U-turn” even we were heading towards the right direction (that is really scary). To add to our fear, the GPS keep telling us to tell left/right into mud roads which we knew it would lead us to no man’s land. And as the sky going dark, you really don’t want to drive because you will see nothing in between these giant trees. To add to our fear, we got no idea where we were and it is not a very funny idea when you have to sleep in the car when all the funny animals like kangaroo comes out.
Thank God just before the sky grows COMPLETELY dark, we saw some faint light in front of us and we knew we finally reached our destination. Thanks to Gabriel and the power of internet, we were able to find the place to stay in Pemberton under the conditions of complete darkness and unknow land.
At least, we celebrated our adventure with a fabulous meal at the hotel. Ordered oysters, steak, lamb chop and some thing i forget..
Of course as we continued the journey up North back to Perth, we tried to find as much places of interest as possible. Here we are at windy harbor, the cliffs on the background is really beautiful.
You know, that day was really amazing. We are “just in time” for all the places we went. Take for this limstone cave, which is really errie, we reached just in time for the tour to starts. Before we reached there, we didn’t know the schedule and we would have to wait for another hour if we missed the time.
And of course,Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse near Augusta. We reached 15 minutes before it closed and the guy allowed us to proceed with an entrance fee of $2 for all 5 of us. It normally takes 5 bucks per head to enter this premises but our timing just can’t be much better. The best thing is we even saw a whale near the coast and of course my father was frantic about it though you can watch one easily on “Animal Planet”.Thank God for that night because it truly the best day of all. We ended up in a hotel celebrating with a dinner cooked by ourselves which turned out the best meal of the trip. BBQ Steaks, chicken wings, sausages, soup and pasta.
Oh, PAYBACK TIME for the scary drive, kangaroo meat.. tasted like char siew for some reasons..
Just before I conclude, we ended up at Margaret River and bought some wine from there. The picture is taken near the river mouth and to be honest, there is nth special there. The only interesting thing you can see is the small river mouth and you will learn water do really flows from the river to the sea!
Simba is the Lion King and he was so called declared king when a ray of light falls on him. Well, I wonder when Jesus comes back, will there a ray of light falls on Him too?
Last of all, you must know which powderful car brought us around in WA travelling thousands of kilometres which is only a small corner of Australia.
This is the tarago, they call it an Estima in SG, with 7 seaters that brought my family of 5 includes our bulky lugguages around WA.
Thanks to my dad who took this wonderful picture of me and for the preparation and planning of the trip
Thanks to my cell grp who prayed so hard for the safety for this trip.
Thank God for being the provider of this trip.
Stay tune for part 2. And please, leave a comment so that I know someone is reading my blog!
It has been so time since I had blogged, partly is because since I came back from Australia, I had been very busy at work and preparing for my CPA papers.
Returning to Perth did rbought me back alot of nostaglic memories and even heartaches. That is because it feels so much like a 2nd home yet it reminds me of so much pain back there. All I know is after this trip, it will be quite some time before I will ever visit Perth again.
After like nearly a month of break, I still can’t find the inspiration and zest that I had towards work as opposed to when I started. Soon, my peak will start and I must work my hardest in the coming months.
It has been some time since I catch up with my friends, I hope that I can find the time to meet them which includes my cell group.
I started serving the Lord by working as an usher in the church. I hope that even after my peak begins, i will find the time to serve Him.
Actually one of the opportunites that I have now is to go back to Scouts. One of the leaders had contacted me a week ago and asked if I want to go back and help out. As much as I wanted to, I may not be able to afford the time. Yet thinking of it, is a good way to help the kids and find some extra things for myself to do. I had been invited for New Town Campfire next week, so I shall see how things will go in the coming weeks.
About CPA, well that is really all up to God. I won’t be surprised if I buang again but I just keep my faith in Him. Because prayers only works when you have faith.
I will post the perth entry soon.
